Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
