I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Randomize
