I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
