just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
