he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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