that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
