I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
