i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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