Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
