They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
