How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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