You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
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