margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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