He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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