I accidentally burped into my bong.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
