Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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