the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
