you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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