do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Randomize
