Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
