I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
