they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I love you. Go after that dick
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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