White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
