you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
