just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
