that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
