I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
