the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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