She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
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