Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Nicole vs. Life
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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