So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Randomize
