Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
