So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
