I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
