We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
