You're so nebulous sometimes
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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