Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
