I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
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