WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
