Are we in a gay sports bar?
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
