Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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