Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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