p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
