Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
He passed out mid-signature
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
