very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
