lets start a swedish sibling band together
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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