How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
