What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
