this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
