you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
