one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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