you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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