so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
