Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Randomize
