just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
