im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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