i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Randomize
