He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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