dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
