I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
