I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
