we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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