Will you blow on my dice?
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Randomize
