Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize
