Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Please don't give away my fajitas
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
